Thursday, October 15, 2009

Day Sixteen - the black hole

As much as I can feel this coming over me I don't feel like I can stop it.
I feel like sitting down and crying for an eternity.
Sometimes when I feel like this I find the best thing is to put myself to bed, a nice big sleep is a good place to start...but I'm at work...sigh.
I have so much work to do - how will I get it all done? Will I do a good job?What if I stuff up?The pressure to perform feels too much right now and I'd just like to hide.
I don't feel like anyone will understand me, even if they did I don't want to hear it. It won't stop the hurting that lasts for as long as it lasts.
I can hear my mother saying to me, in hopeful persuasion, "but you've been doing so well".

I feel angry, defensive, alone, tearful and hopeless. I don't want to do today anymore.
The only good thing about being here today is that we have tissues and now that they've all left I don't have to pretend to smile anymore.

BG :(

1 comment:

  1. Brave Girl - you can do this, you are not alone :-)


Thank you so much for taking the time to make a comment - it really is great to hear, or see as the case is here, what others have to say.
BG x