The Symptoms

Because this is an experiment I thought I should be a little bit scientifc and list my physical and emotional state at present - or my symptoms.

PHYSICAL: I have developed dermatitis on my arms and knees – maybe due to the winter but may also be related to my mood? I feel tired ALL of the time. Some days I sleep up to 12 hours a day and I could still sleep more if I allowed myself. I am reasonably healthy, I don’t drink to excess (on a regular basis) and I don’t take drugs. At present I believe I am a healthy weight (although I’d quite like to be littler), on the Body Mass Index chart I am considered to be overweight but that’s shit. I am 5’6” or 167cm’s and last time I weighed myself I weighed 70kgs.

MENTAL/EMOTIONAL: I feel down a lot of the time. I think negative thoughts and sometimes I think about how much I don’t want to be here. That doesn’t mean I want to die, just that I don’t want to be here. I get grumpy and angry a lot. I cry nearly every day. Sometimes I have what I’ve termed ‘crying days’ I wake up crying and I cry all day..even when I have to go out and buy milk. Often I find it difficult to go out. I let my friends down at the last minute a lot because I can’t face seeing people. I have very high expectations of myself, I ruminate all of the time and I beat myself up emotionally nearly constantly. I get overwhelmed easily and procrastinate. I take on too much until I am over committed and have to let people down again. I have had oodles of counselling (and I mean OODLES)...I know all about CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), NLP (neurolinguistic programming), Gestalt therapy...I know what I’m doing I just can’t stop.

SUPPLEMENTS: I have taken a vast array of supplements over the years, some help I think? I tried anti-depressants once (much to my loathing) and I hated them. I took myself off them. YUCK!

Currently I take:
one fish oil capsule a day
an iron tablet (as I am a meat minimalist)
sometimes a multivitamin (I just ran out)
and some zinc (cause I read it helped)

I have taken a photo and my measuremets as well in case my body changes in the next wee while. I'm undecided if I will publish these at the conclusion of the project, I guess it makes sense to though huh?