Day Ninteen

Hi..she says rather sheepishly. I'm feeling disappointed in myself, I only made it to yoga twice last week - my minimum was going to be three times per week. Maybe I'm pushing myself too hard or expecting too much but all of a sudden I feel like the weight of the world has landed on my shoulders.

I find myself looking longingly at cafe workers thinking - wow imagine if I had a job that didn't come home with me? I'm finding it hard to make it through this busy period without crashing all over the place - I feel totally fatigued and really grumpy. Breathe, breathe...this is not forever, I keep trying to remember.

I don't want to go to yoga tonight - I want to  go to sleep.

I will go, (thanks to your messages of support) and a boot up the bum from the boyfriend. I hope I don't spend my entire time there thinking about the work I have to do when I get home! I'm deciding right now that I will go and it will be great - the end!

Day Five

I've hit my head four times today and nearly sliced off my thumb, managed to burn plastic onto the stove so the whole house smells like the inside of a Barbie Doll box and dropped coffee beans all over the floor....I seem to be overly clumsly? And moody and weepy. My head hurts and I've felt sick for most of the day - despite all this I made it to yoga again.

 It was quite nice to have an hour off 'thinking' and 'being me' and be focused on breathing and simply moving. I'm still finding my way with my practice - it doesn't feel right yet and boy do I feel...how do I feel? Am going to practice the hand stand thingy that took me by surprise in class tonight...might have to get the boyfriend to spot me I think? If you've ever seen the UK ad for Tango then you'll understand when I say 'he wasn't prepared for that!' After today's clumsyishness perhaps I'll leave it till tomorrow actually!

You know....I really hope someone reads this, do you think they will? It's quite odd putting your life on screen.

Yoga-tastic!